New England Patriots: 5 observations from win over Dolphins

The New England Patriots improved their record to 9-2 yesterday when they defeated the Miami Dolphins by a score of 35-17.

Another week, another dominant win for the New England Patriots. It always sounds arrogant when a Patriots fan claims that games don’t become meaningful until the AFC Championship, but that statement is 100% correct.

Even when the Patriots aren’t playing their best football, they’re playing well enough to embarrass teams. It’s like Billy Madison playing dodgeball with 1st graders at recess. He’s a man among boys. In his words, and I can only presume Bill Belichick’s words to the NFL, “Now you’re all in big, big trouble.”

Every week they face a squad hungry to knock them off their throne, and each week they come out unscathed.

This week was no different. The Dolphins came into Gillette Stadium with an attitude. Jarvis Landry had predicted a clean sweep of the Patriots this year.

When it came time to put his money where his mouth is, Landry and the Fins just couldn’t keep up. It’s okay Jarvis, not many teams can.

Welcome back to my weekly column where I give 5 observations I considered notable enough to write about. It could be a perfectly executed blitz, a bad call by the refs, a funny sign I spotted in the stands, or just about anything in between. In the words of the late John Farrell (not dead, just no longer the Red Sox manager), “let’s *expletive* have it!”

Playing Unpatriotic

President Trump has been all over Twitter questioning the Patriotism of NFL players who peacefully support what they believe in during the National Anthem. Yes, really. He’s even called for their being fired. Very unfair!

When a non-New Englander thinks of Patriotism, they think about the stars and stripes and loving your country. When a Patriots fan thinks of being Patriotic, they think about unmatched preparedness and not making stupid mistakes on either side of the ball.

Yesterday, the Patriots played very unpatriotic. The most notable blunder was a mistimed snap by Ted Karras which resulted in a scoop and score from the Dolphins. It was a rare error that’s almost never seen on a Belichick led team.

"When asked about the mistake, Karras said “That’s 100 percent my fault, I just snapped it early. It was 100 percent on me. Kind of a nightmare, but we overcame it.”"

Overcome they did. Kudos for Karras for not packing up his locker and leaving the facility the moment the final whistle blew. To quote Rocky Balboa, “it ain’t about how hard ya hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”.

It wasn’t enough to lose them the game, but mistakes allowed the Dolphins to stay within reach. Mistakes happen, but limiting mental errors is what the Patriots do best. Expect a cleaner game from them next weekend.

Three Blind Mice

The referees yesterday disgraced the stripes. Ed Hochuli is getting a migraine just thinking about how poorly they performed yesterday. That’s not bias speaking, either. They were bad for both teams.

Dolphins fans were outraged at a call that gave the Patriots the football after an apparent fumble. The refs conferred and awarded the Patriots the ball.

Similarly, the Patriots recovered a fumble early on and took it to the house, but the refs called the runner down by contact. The Patriots did not challenge the play, resulting in a Dolphins ball.

One of the weirdest plays, however, was when the Patriots were going to punt the football and the play clock mysteriously reset. What was up with that? It felt like the play took forever. The referees should have called a delay of game, and that would have been that.

Instead, we have Dolphins fans crying “cheating” on social media because of a clock malfunction. Oh well.

Refs are a factor for both teams, and in this case both teams were negatively affected. It’s one of those things that teams can’t control, so they do their best not to worry about them. Unfortunately, the stripes didn’t perform when the lights were on. Happens.

Over-Inflated Balls?

Patriots players can’t wear skinny jeans because they can’t fit their cojones into them. They showed that this Sunday with a fake punt call just 1 minute into the first quarter.

When the Patriots lined up to complete their 3-and-out on the first drive of the game, Nate Ebner saw something that he recognized on film. A chink in the armor. A vulnerability that can only be noticed after hours and hours of film analysis.

Ebner audibled to a fake punt, and the rest is history. The play caught everyone off guard, including the Dolphins. Ebner took the snap and ran around the right side, picking up 14 yards and the first down. It was a ballsy play to say the least.

This play set the tone for the entire game. The Patriots were not going to give anything to the Dolphins. If Miami was seriously trying to win this game, they’d have to truly earn their points.

The irony is that the Patriots handed them points on the bad snap by Ted Karras, but that’s neither here nor there.

This fake punt was the first fake punt the Patriots have run since 2004. They’re awfully picky about when they run their trick plays, but when they do, they work.

Nothing fires me up like a fake punt. I run it almost every 4th down on Madden. But hey, that’s why I’m not an NFL coach.

Welcome Back, Defense

There’s still about a month until Christmas, but that didn’t stop the Patriots from taking after Santa and utilizing the sack. Get it? Santa’s gift sack, the Patriots sacked Matt Moore a bunch? No? Maybe? Good talk.

Since I butchered that joke, I’ll get right back to the analysis.

The Patriots defense has finally come to play. Consistently, I might add. This week, the Patriots front 7 stole the show. They recorded 7 sacks on the night and 10 tackles for loss.

The Dolphins only rushed for 67 yards all day. The defensive line was airtight, and it showed throughout the game.

They can’t take all the credit, however, because the secondary played well too.

Stephon Gilmore continues to improve and the coverage has been solid. This is a completely different secondary than in the first half of the season.

Before the season began, I made 5 bold predictions about the upcoming season. One of the predictions was that the defense would be superior to the offense in terms of rankings by season’s end.

We’re not there yet, but if we keep improving we’ll be on our way. The defense keeps getting better and better, while the offense has stayed as steady as the Waco Kid’s shooting hand in Blazing Saddles. Just kidding. It’s been as steady as his off hand. Steady as a rock.

Take Me To The Promised Land

I wouldn’t be doing my duty as a writer if I failed to mention Rob Gronkowski and Brandin Cooks’ touchdown celebration.

In the 4th quarter, the Patriots sent Brandin Cooks in motion across the middle of the field. The ball was snapped and Cooks received a touch-pass from Tom Brady. He took the ball around the end and walked into the corner of the end zone. Touchdown!

Now, as if Patriots Nation wasn’t already pumped up, Cooks hopped on Gronk’s back, who piggyback rode him off the field. It was incredible. Cooks was even slapping Gronk’s back as if to tell a horse to giddy-up.

Unfortunately for everyone, the coaching staff was not fond of the celebration. Gronk and Cooks reportedly got yelled at afterward and were told to keep quiet about the incident.

Who reported this, you might ask? I’m glad you asked. Gronk himself spoke about his exchange with the coaches and how he wasn’t supposed to speak about the celebration.

Gronk has had a ton of laughable interviews in his career, but this one might take the cake.

It’s just classic Gronk to want to talk about a fun celebration and want to obey authority at the same time. He’s like an elementary school student and I love every second of it.

Gronk is the most lovable player in the league because he jokes around constantly and he’s not trying to make everyone like him (looking at you, Travis Kelce). Gronk is a genuine and fun human being, and I hope he never changes on or off the field.

Moving Forward

The Patriots are just now hitting their stride. It’s only week 12 but the Pats are in midseason form. I pity whichever team gets in the way of their second consecutive Lombardi Trophy.

Next up on the destruction list are the Buffalo Bills. The Bills are coming off a win against the formidable Kansas City Chiefs, so they shouldn’t be taken lightly. I guarantee that Belichick says something along those lines in his next presser.

The Patriots are back to the lab to correct any mishaps that may have occurred this week. The Bills may be riding high, but they’ll have to get much tougher if they hope to derail the freight train that is the New England Patriots.

Next: Why Tom Brady is the 201 NFL MVP

I apologize for writing this column later than usual. Normally I write up these observations late at night on Sunday and have them ready to be published at about 3:00 AM. Yesterday, however, I found myself on a bus without wifi, where I was unable to write anything about the game. Damn Academy Buses. Upon returning to my home, I realized a selfish professor had assigned an essay due the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend. So my apologies, that’s where my Sunday night went. Thank you all for returning and reading my observations. I hope you agree, disagree, or have any opinion at all about them. I’ll be back next weekend when the Patriots hopefully destroy the Bills. Go Pats!