A little trash talking to get this party started

The helmet logo of the Baltimore Ravens is lame.

Oh, now I’ve gone and done it – the time for talking is over, ’cause thems fightin’ words…

The media war between Boston and Houston area sportswriters all last week occurred because anyone with half a brain knew how that game was going to turn out, and when your team has been slighted as a 9 1/2 point underdog by the oddsmakers – and you know there’s no way your team will ever cover the spread – you kind of lose your motivation for anything but tv and beer.  So they started trashing each other.

September 23, 2012; Baltimore, MD, USA; New England Patriots running back Stevan Ridley (22) is tackled by Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis (52) and safety Ed Reed (20) at M

The trash talking this week leading up to Sunday’s AFC Championship tilt at Gillette stadium hasn’t erupted in a war of words – and it won’t because these teams have too much respect for one another to waste each other’s time with stupid propaganda.  Just practice, film, get your sleep and take care of your body because every ounce of energy you can muster will be required in this heavyweight fight.

One guy started stuff, though.  Brendon something or other.  He fired off about a half dozen tweets about the Patriots’ “Gimmicky” offense.  The next day he issued an apology, which no one cared about in the first place – no one asked for an apology, but I’m sure Coach John Harbaugh explained things to him.

Freaking Belichick.  Classic Dollar Bill moment from the Texans game – when he was down on a knee preaching to the defense – heard the roar of the crowd, glanced at the jumbo tron to see that Shane Vereen had just caught a lovely pinpoint pass from Tom Brady for a touchdown, then focused back on the players – never stopped coaching.

The whole “moment” was actually about 3 seconds, about how long it takes to glance up from your sandwich to notice that A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend just walked in with Brett Musberger to have a hot coffee, then shrug and take your next bite – which was about how Belichick looked during the sequence.

Belichick notices everything, though he may not act upon what he’s seeing right away, you can be damned sure he has it logged in that filing cabinet in his brain…and that’s where you are, Brendon Whats yer name – filed just behind Pittsburgh’s Ryan Clark, one of the few who dared call out Belichick – and Bill made sure he had something for him.

Not anything vicious, nothing that was going to hurt him or that would interfere with the flow of the game or get him a penalty – but at some point during the course of the game, somewhere within the flow, he’s going to make you look like a fool – and every person in the civilized world and Canada is going watch it happen live.

I’m sure that Coach Harbaugh explained that to you as well.   It’s something that can’t be helped, and all you can hope for is to learn from the experience

His plans are so devious that I bet that stuff like that is actually built into the game plan, has a name, maybe like “The Longest Yard” – just so you know that Bill will get you – but only you…

…for the rest of the Baltimore Ravens he has nothing but respect for, and that carries down to every member of the organization and players.  These teams have had some classic battles and not even the most powerful people in sports – the Vegas oddsmakers – have any idea what to expect.

They’ll flash that 9 1/2 points around for a while like it was a brand new Rolex, adjust it down to where there’s equal money being wagered as the day draws near, and should settle in at game time right around 6 1/2 or 7.  Or maybe not, it’s been holding firm despite all of the money being laid down on the Patriots to cover that ridiculous spread.

The funny thing is that I’ll bet none of the players are thinking about the point spread, nor are the coaches – there’s no room for that kind of nonsense when you’re playing for a title.  It’s lace ’em up, strap ’em down and go.

These are the two best teams in the AFC, and they both deserve to be playing for this title.

The Broncos fell apart right before our eyes and that predatory instinct of the Raven took hold, and the fat lady started wailing away – then New England toyed with an outclassed Texans’ team before nailing the coffin shut…which brings us back to the trash talking…

So, yeah, the dumb little cartoonish bird on your helmets?  Lame.  It should have been the sleeve patch of Edgar Allen Poe looking all evil and junk, with a Ravens’ beak coming out of his face.  That’s tough looking, that’s like Raider-esque.

But now that I think about it, your logo is tougher than ours.  Yours is a menacing looking bird, ours is Elvis…and the only people that the King ever scared was the folks that owned the all you can eat Chinese joint around the corner from Graceland…

…and I stink at trash talking – so just humor me, never mind about our goofy logo and believe me when I say:

Until you change your logo stuff around, ain’t nobody going to take you seriously.