Odds of Tom Brady’s Suspension Being Reduced? None.
Those of you that listen to the C&C Podcast already know this, but I’ve been on a DeflateGate strike for the last 5 or so weeks. I refuse to discuss it. I’d rather watch a looping replay of David Tyree’s helmet catch for a week than spend a single second of my life talking or Donkey-Kong-smashing a keyboard about whether suspending the best quarterback in football not named Aaron Rodgers for more likely than not being generally aware of something is fair, or if the evidence proves it even happened. But Tom Brady’s suspension appeal is right around the corner, and after His Eminence Roger Goodell hears everything Brady has to say, while probably making Brady refer to him as “Your Grace” the whole time, a whole lot of Patriots fans, and the Patriots themselves, are either going to be cracking a beer because they’re happy, or cracking a beer ‘cause they’re pissed.
It will be a pissed-off beer.
The AEI report is a wondrous piece of work, and a lot of Patriots Nation thinks that it could be Tom Brady’s deus ex machina (deus ex documenta?) when he has to face the commissioner and, as Roger Goodell said, looks him in the eye, in a moment possibly inspired the Tony Montana “The eyes, chico…they never lie” scene in Scarface. Ok, maybe not, but still, the hype train is getting stoked that Brady’s appeal, now with the fire-breathing AEI report , is his ticket out of Goodell’s Rancor pit.
(That’s the thing that Luke Skywalker falls into in Return of the Jedi after he makes Jabba the Hutt with that crazy monster thing in it.)
While it’s true that the AEI report chops up the NFL’s case against Tom Brady, splits it into kindling, lights it on fire, and pisses on it’s ashes, that’s not going to help Brady’s appeal one bit. Because if Goodell even acknowledges that the AEI report as much as raises a single valid point, he’s throwing himself, Ted Wells, Troy Vincent, and “integrity” off a cliff.
A $5,000,000 investigation, a report longer than a Hunger Games novel, and days of deliberation, all leading up to a record punishment that Goodell specifically said he approved, and you think the commissioner is going to go “Well gee whiz, according to this piece in the New York times, I guess we done F’ed up?”
No. Roger Goodell will take a page out of Vince McMahon’s book when he tried to keep Stone Cold Steve Austin in line, and double down on himself, just like he did in the Ray Rice situation until he was proven to be a liar (by a judge, no less).
Think about the reaction that the NFL had to two recent parts of this extended episode of True Detective – the Wells Report Context site, and the NFLPA’s appeal to try to get Goodell to recuse himself as the arbitrator. The NFL’s reaction to the Patriots fighting fire with fire was basically…nothing. It was all over the press, and the NFL treated it like seeing your ex at a party with a new date a week after dumping you. It stared through the Wells Report Context website being released like it was invisible.
And as far as the NFLPA requesting that Roger Goodell recuse himself as the arbitrator, one line of Goodell’s response to the NFLPA says it all: “I conclude that none of the arguments advanced by the NFLPA has merit.”
(Yes, that’s grammatically incorrect, but, well, that’s what Goodell wrote.)
Actually, wait, there’s two parts. That one was in Goodell’s opening paragraph. This one is about halfway through, referring to the NFLPA’s claim that he is a witness:
“After carefully considering this argument, I reject it.”
Actually, wait, there’s three parts. This last one is right before he says he’s “not wedded” to the Wells Report’s conclusions:
“I have publicly expressed my appreciation to Mr. Wells and his colleagues for their thorough and independent work.”
Is that the language of an individual that’s going to stroll into an appeal of a decision that he made that he’s currently the judge of and admit that maybe a 4-game suspension and hacking the Patriots’ legs out from under them by taking a first-round draft pick away wasn’t the right call?
No. It’s the words of a commissioner who’s only hearing an appeal on this in the first place because, in the NFL, you get the formality of complaining when you’re given detention and told to write on the chalkboard.
So, after this appeal goes down on June 23rd and anyone wants to crack an angry beer, you know where to find me.
(Or, if you REALLY want to crank the X-Files back-door-deal conspiracy to 11, how about this: Kraft and Goodell are in this together, the Patriots secretly had a hand in AEI “independently” releasing a report just a couple weeks before Brady’s appeal that pointed out “inconsistencies and science that doesn’t hold up”, right as Goodell had said previously that he “isn’t wedded to the Wells Report” and is “open to new evidence”, throws Ted Wells under the bus, and reduces the suspension to 2 games? What if THAT was the back-door deal that the rumor at the owner’s meeting was about, and Robert Kraft putting his guns down started this whole thing?)
Maybe I should try writing TV scripts.