Deflategate: “56 Lies Told By the NFL” is Glorious!

Feb 8, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; NFL commissioner Roger Goodell reacts during Super Bowl LI press conference at the Moscone Center. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 8, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; NFL commissioner Roger Goodell reacts during Super Bowl LI press conference at the Moscone Center. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports /
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A media watch website has chronicled every lie and mis-statement of fact that the NFL put out during the Deflategate fiasco, most of which were directed at the New England Patriots.

As of this week, Deflategate has taken somewhat of a backseat to the NFL lying about the results of concussion research, then getting called out by the New York Times for lying about concussion research, then getting all basic-white-girl pissy about getting called out over lying about concussion research, then saying the Times lied about the NFL’s actions on concussions, and THEN getting promptly schooled by the NYT on how journalism and telling the truth works.

There’s some type of draft coming up, too. Some players from some pretty good college football teams are going to play for some NFL teams, or something like that.  Should be fun!

In the middle of all that, Bruce Allen of Boston Sports Media Watch, who previously barbecued ESPN for being the NFL’s bridesmaid in Deflategate’s heyday, is at it again, with a new blog titled “56 Lies the NFL Told in Deflategate”.

And let me tell you, it is glorious. Almost as glorious as most of the food that Turner Field is selling for you to stuff your fat face in before the Atlanta Braves move to…wherever.

Of course, Patriots Nation doesn’t need a reminder that the NFL lied about what caused their Deflategate investigation, or that the NFL lied about the results of said investigation. Nor do they need reminding that the NFL progressively accused Tom Brady of being “more probable than not” and “generally aware” in the Wells Report, or that the NFL’s latest court filing states that Brady was part of “…a scheme to deflate game balls to be used in a conference championship game”

Then again, that’s the exact purpose of “56 Lies the NFL Told During Deflategate” – the entire traveshamockery (travesty + sham + mockery) of Deflategate on one convenient website.

The cover photograph is also undeniably wonderful, presenting Roger Goodell as if he’s in a Subway “$5 Footlong” commercial.

Let’s get to the meat! “56 Lies the NFL Told During Deflategate” plays like a 2Pac greatest hits album, if 2Pac were a historically awful commissioner of the most wildly successful professional sport in the western hemisphere.  Bruce Allen has more flavors of NFL lies than Ben & Jerry’s, including such fan favorites  as:

In the interests of being COMPLETELY fair, “56 Lies the NFL Told During Deflategate” goes off the rails a bit in some cases. Saying that the NFL’s comparison of alleged ball deflation to Brady using steroids is a “lie” is a bit of a stretch, even though that’s exactly what the NFL said.  Calling the Houston Texans owner Bob McNair part of the NFL’s lies for accusing the Patriots of “…escalating Deflategate” and saying that JJ Watt “…would never destroy his cellphone” is definitely a stretch, even if the Texans owner is, by definition, part of the NFL.  And saying that the NFL’s Troy Vincent lied when he said that Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ comments about preferring an overinflated football were post-game, when they were actually pre-game, is definitely a lie, but the deets of pre-or-pots-game are hardly relevant to, well, anything.

Still, if you’ve ever thought to yourself “Man, the NFL is so full of (adjective) and decided they were going to (verb) Tom Brady and the Patriots because the other owners are so (        ) salty about losing all the (         ) time, I wish someone would put all that (adjective) in one (        ) place so I could show my (        ) friends that still believe the (        ) NFL!”….

…Today is your lucky day.

Link here, once again, for your convenience.  Enjoy.