Boston Red Sox: Players Weekend nicknames lack personality

Nicknames for the upcoming Players’ Weekend have been revealed, and along with them was the Boston Red Sox lack of personality.

Players’ Weekend is a chance for players to channel their inner child. They are presented with new, fun jerseys and are given the opportunity to choose the names that go on the back, no matter how ridiculous. Two teams even play a game in the fun baseball capital of the world, Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Apparently the Boston Red Sox missed the “enjoy yourself” memo.

Today, the nicknames the Red Sox will flaunt were revealed. To be blunt, the nicknames suck. There’s little to no creativity, and the only decent nicknames have been previously established. Let’s break down this abysmal display.

The Good

There are only two nicknames that I consider to be “good”, but I’ll include three because I’m feeling generous in the spirit of Players’ Weekend. Those three are Dr. Chill, The Conductor, and Nitro, held by Sam Travis, Chris Sale, and Nathan Eovaldi, respectively.

While I’m not exactly sure where Dr. Chill comes from (it’s also Travis’s Twitter handle), I absolutely love it. Not only does it roll off the tongue, but it indicates the kind of guy Sam Travis is. He’s not just chill, he’s doctor chill. He got his PhD in relaxation. It’s a great nickname.

The Conductor is Chris Sale’s alter ego, though it doesn’t fit as well when he isn’t his usual dominant self. He hasn’t been “punching tickets” lately, but he’s still one of the premier strikeout artists in the MLB. It’s perfectly acceptable.

On the fringe of “good” and “meh” is Nitro, or Nathan Eovaldi. This could mean many things, but I’m assuming it has to do with the fact that Eovaldi throws gas. The biggest question is if anyone actually calls him Nitro. Either way, the creativity partnered with the novelty of the nickname is enough to earn it a “good” label.

The Bad

Okay, the headline was a little misleading. These nicknames aren’t necessarily bad. But they certainly aren’t good, and it’s setting me up for a perfect section titled “The Ugly”. You know how it goes.

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This category is home to Chief, Heater, Pedey, Carita, and Flaco, who are Michael Chavis, Heath Hembree, Rafael Devers, and J.D. Martinez, respectively.

The reason I’m not a fan of these is that they’re boring and old news. Chief is what your dad calls you while he’s flipping burgers and drinking a cold one, not a nickname. Heater, while a good nickname for a fastball or a cigarette, is not a well-suited for a person. I doubt anyone has ever called Hembree “heater”.  Finally, Pedey, Carita, and Flaco are just old news. It feels like all five of these guys gave up and submitted the first thing that came to mind.

The Ugly

This section is reserved for BH, BJ, Work, Porcello, Mookie, JBJ, Cash, Barnesy, Taylor, Web, and Hernandez. In other words, all the players that made absolutely zero effort in coming up with a nickname.

Initials are not nicknames. Last names are not nicknames. Anything that is a shortened version of your first name is a cop out. Have a little creativity, guys.

This debacle is reflective of the blatant lack of personality and identity that has plagued the Boston Red Sox this year. Something as minor as nicknames can show how much fun a team is having, and these Red Sox are not having very much fun. It’s really disappointing, but enlightening as to why the team has been struggling so much.