Why Boston Red Sox need a new owner like Elon Musk

The offseason of every major Boston team, like the Boston Red Sox, and, of course, of other lesser cities’ sports teams, is a time for optimism, excitement, and hope. Until it isn’t.

In the 2021 offseason, the hot stove league has been more like a cold refrigerator one for the Boston Red Sox. It has been boring beyond belief and since it seems it’s time for an ownership change, how about Elon Musk as the new owner?

The new, “tighten-the-belt straps” operation of the post-2018 Championship Boston Red Sox is one of contraction, penny-pinching, and above-all, boredom. It’s now the “buying low” Boston Red Sox.

Head of baseball operations Chaim Bloom has never seen a pitcher with an ERA of 5.00 or more he didn’t like.

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Bloom was hired by the Fenway Sports Group, now known currently more for its great Liverpool “football club” than its Boston baseball team (go figure).

Maybe they should change the name of the company to The Anfield Sports Group after Liverpool’s stadium. Bloom’s job: create a new model, a “sustainable team”. Translation, don’t spend any money and ditch payroll and high-priced great players like Mookie Betts. Check.

So, reign in the spending and avoid the luxury tax is the new mantra of the Boston Red Sox. The club has seemingly tied Mr. Bloom’s hands.

Looks like any acknowledged Major League baseball star is strictly off-limits due to the extravagant costs involved in the contracts and the implications of the luxury tax.

And it certainly showed in the product last season. Not worth watching, at all. And what will change this season? Looks like nothing.

Bottom-feeding for a big-market club like Boston is a complete embarrassment.

What exciting signings have there been this offseason? None. Mostly pitchers with 5.00+ ERA’s and low-average hitters whom the club brass hopes can suddenly emerge as All-Stars in the cozy confines of Fenway Park.

Not happening, folks. It’s a bad joke being played on Red Sox Nation by the Boston Red Sox. Big-time teams act like big teams. Maybe the Boston Red Sox ownership no longer considers the club a “big-market” team.

After all, it’s been said by one member of the brass that they’re not going “all-in”. Not “all-in” this season. Again. Fine. But if not now, when? And are they even going to place a bet on any top players?

Evidently not. They’re bottom-feeding and hoping to somehow (don’t even think about playoffs) “compete”.

They’re in this for the long haul and the “catchword” of the hour (which is actually passe) is “sustainability”. Right. In it to be competitive every season. Blah. Blah. Blah. That’s simply corporate-speak for, “we’re not going to spend the money or pay any luxury tax. Period.”

Wouldn’t it be nice for a change for them just to say it, “we won’t spend money on any top players this offseason and we don’t care if we have a good team or not. It’s all about the Benjamins. It’s a business decision and the fans can take a hike.”

Well, not happening. As refreshing as it would be, don’t count on hearing that anytime soon. It’s just, “we’re not going all-in.”

Elon Musk for owner of the Boston Red Sox

So here’s a comment for the Red Sox brass, a true revelation, so please listen up: there is no long-haul. There’s only this season. Right here. Right now. No next year. No five years down the road. Only now. “Sustainability” is just a catchword for we don’t care about the team this season.

It was half-jestingly suggested previously in this space that this penny-pinching ownership should sell the team, cash in (and they would, big-time no doubt), and that a good candidate to sell to would-be Elon Musk. Only half-jesting. Well, maybe it’s not a jest at all. Here’s why.

Oh right, he’s from South Africa and he’s not a baseball expert. Maybe he doesn’t even know anything about baseball. As if John Henry et al did when they bought the club.

Musk is plain and simply a brilliant man. He does things that others say are impossible. Robert Kennedy, the brother of President John F. Kennedy once said,

"Some men see things as they are and ask, “”Why?”” I dream things that never were and ask, “”Why not?””"

Elon Musk is that type of dreamer and that type of person. He turns dreams into reality. Frankly, I think Musk would be an amazing owner of any sports club.

He could snatch up the Red Sox from the current ownership crew for pocket change. Literally, pocket change for the rest of us. He’s that, shall we say, wealthy. A couple or a few billion, not a problem.

So here’s the beginning of a “Draft Elon Musk as the next owner of the Red Sox” campaign. Join in. No fee to join. Nothing to do, except hope.

Hope that a new owner like the brilliant Musk will come along, cash out the current group, forget about not “going all-in” and act as the owner of the big market Boston Red Sox should.

Meanwhile, we looked up the standings in 2020 in the American League Eastern Division at the Bronx Mashers, Tampa Bay (oh, there’s that city again), the Toronto Blue Jays, and even up at the hapless Baltimore Orioles.

Last place in 2020 and don’t be surprised Red Sox Nation if they equal that feat again in 2021. Meet the new Red Sox, same as the old Red Sox.

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Bottom feeders in the player market. When it comes to players and spending money and luxury taxes and all that, they’ve checked out.

And what does bottom-feeding earn you? Right, bottom-dwelling. The 2020 last-place Boston Red Sox are bottom-feeders headed once again to bottom-dwelling in 2021.

Having bugged out, it’s time for the current Boston Red Sox owners to cash out and check out. Sell the team to Mr. Musk (if he’d buy it). We can dream, can’t we?

Elon Musk is a dreamer and he turns dreams into reality. Like to see him dream of the Boston Red Sox as Champions again. How ’bout them apples? It would be a heckuva ride. Like on a SpaceX rocket. For sure.

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