New England Patriots Fans Need to Relax

The New England Patriots are 2-4 in their last six games, but we all need to step back and relax.

“RELAX”

Aside from being the feature cut on the soundtrack to the defining film of our generation, it was also Aaron Rodgers’ message to Packers fans after Week 3 of the 2014 NFL season, when Green Bay started out with a 1-2 record and the cheese-eating folk were surely distraught over not having won a Super Bowl since 2011.

(To be fair, the Black Eyed Peas were the halftime show at that Super Bowl, so it’s understandable if Packers shareholders’ brains block that one out).

Relaxing is also what the vast majority of New England needs to do over the next couple weeks.

Or, in other words, take a chill pill, Kendall Gill.

Yes, the Patriots are 2-4 in their last six games. Yes, the injury situation is pretty much at a Monty Python & the Holy Grail Black Knight level. Yes, the team that was the best offense in the league and didn’t score less than 28 points per game until Week 9 has looked like a bunch of sophomores ready for spring break the past couple weeks.

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And yes, the Pats got beat by a Dolphins team yesterday with an interim head coach, one of the consensus dirtiest players in league history, and a quarterback who’s increasingly looking like a worse investment than Bitcoin.

Guess what?

(lights cigar)

“La-dee-frickin’-da”

Aside from the obvious Ace of Spades that Tom Brady and Bill Belichick offer in the playoffs, where Tommy B. has won a spit-your-beer-out 69.2% of his postseason games, there’s the obvious reinforcements that are all coming back in last-20-minutes-of-Lord-Of-The-Rings fashion:

Julian Edelman, who, let’s reiterate, was a seventh-round draft pick that the Patriots turned into what Mel Kiper referred to as “the toughest to cover in the NFL right now”, was reportedly back at practice as early as December 11^th, and ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported that Edelman would be back for the divisional round of the playoffs. All Edelman did last year in the playoffs was catch 26 passes on 37 targets , average 93.7 yards per game, and throw a sweet touchdown pass.

Safeties Devin McCourty and Patrick Chung also both played on Sunday and now have two weeks to rest up before playing against the…does it even matter? The Patriots secondary was Pro Football Focus’s top-rated bunch of defensive backs for the 2015 regular season, with McCourty, Chung, and cornerbacks Malcolm Butler and Logan Ryan all earning PFF grades higher than 80. They’re one of two teams in the league to have four DBs with a higher grade than 80.

Oh, that also means that New England’s secondary is better than Denver’s, who is ranked #2 on Pro Football Focus’s list. New England’s average grade for DBs is 82.7, so they beat Denver’s average grade of 81.1, even if they don’t sell quite as many jerseys.

Devin McCourty and Patrick Chung both missed Week 16 with injuries, but played this week and should be much better with 14 days of R&R under their belts.

Right tackle turned left tackle Sebastian Vollmer, who let’s not forget isn’t even playing his usual position, is also coming back for the divisional round, according to Adam Schefter. For an O-line that Football Outsiders somehow ranks second in the league in run blocking, but a lousy 20^th in pass protection, right next to Philadelphia, literally any starter returning is going to improve the protection. Right? Right. Good. Great.

Danny Amendola, who, like the rest of the Patriots, played on Sunday in body, if not in spirit, has also had a smorgasbord of week-to-week injuries. Who saw that one coming, am I right?

Last week, Amendola didn’t play because of a knee injury, and in Week 17, he chalked up a whopping 2 receptions for 17 yards. Of course, the Pats suddenly avoiding throwing the ball like Boston is avoiding Chipotle right now was probably most of the reason for that, but Amendola clearly wasn’t 100%, and when he’s had two 100-yard games this season and another couple where he tallied 79 and 86 yards, then, well, we saw what a healthy Danny A can do in the playoffs last year.

You don’t get targeted on a mailbox throw by Tom Brady in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl when your team is already losing if your quarterback doesn’t think you’re worth having on the field.

Scott Chandler, the tight end New England signed this offseason, is apparently allergic to catching more than one or two passes per game (he’s got 3 games all year with more than 2 receptions), also didn’t play against Miami.

It seems like a lot of New England is down on the guy, which is probably at least 80% because when Chandler got here, people immediately expected him to match the production of The Tight End Who Shall Not Be Named (a stupid comparison if there ever was one). That aside, Scotty C is still a 6’7’’ target that got his number called more and more as the season went on, and at worst, he’s another receiver that any defense has to account for. At best? Maybe he’ll actually catch one of those end zone fade routes one of these days.

Don’t forget that Boomtower hasn’t exactly been his usual self lately either. Dont’a Hightower sprained his MCL during the Denver game in Week 12, missed Week 13 and 14, and has been in and out of the lineup ever since.

Put simply, Hightower is a brick wall when it comes to stuffing the run, and has 15 quarterback pressures, 2.5 sacks, and 12 hurries this year despite getting injured, coming back, and then re-injuring himself. A healthy Dont’a Hightower is a quarterback’s worst nightmare, and to hear Hightower himself tell it, he hasn’t been 100% since Week 1.

Let’s see, in two weeks, when the Patriots come back against whoever they end up playing in the AFC divisional round, they’ll have a top-20 wide receiver, a starting-caliber tackle, two of the best safeties in the NFL, a linebacker lots of people thought got snubbed for the Pro Bowl, and another pair of pass-catching options returning to the team in (presumably) much better physical shape. Did we forget anyone?

Oh, right – after freaking out 94% of New England after hobbling off the press podium, Tom Brady’s ankle is going to be OK after all. Adam Schefter tweeted on Monday that the MRI only showed a sprained ankle, and no fractures or breaks, and New England collectively exhaled.

And even after losing 4 of their last six games, and with 8,000,000 players on injured reserve (conservative estimate), here’s where Brady ranks on the year compared to every other quarterback:

Passing touchdowns – 1^st, with 36, better than Cam Newton, Carson Palmer, and whoever else besides Brady people are saying should win MVP this week.

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Passing yards – 3^rd, behind only Phillip Rivers and Drew Brees.

Completions – 4^th, behind Brees and Rivers again, and, surprisingly, Matt Ryan.

And not only that, but let’s take a really oversimplified look at how each loss went down:

Denver – Gronk and Dont’a Hightower both got injured during the game, New England muffed a punt, and Denver still needed overtime to win.

Philadelphia – Three special-teams touchdowns? Seriously? That’s what Philly needs to beat the Patriots? Fair to assume that won’t happen again anytime soon.

New York – Eh. Who knows? They sure looked like they were mailing that one in. And then they gambled in overtime and lost. Sometimes you roll sevens, sometimes you roll snake eyes.

Miami – Oh, they were definitely mailing THAT one in. This game had all the focus and effort of a class of freshmen at 2:59pm the Friday before spring break.

Brady might have put it best, when he said “We have to play well going forward if we want to make anything of our season. Nothing over the last six weeks is going to matter.”

And in the AFC, the Patriots are supposed to be scared of who, exactly? Houston, after they boat-raced the Texans 27-6 a month ago? Pittsburgh, who couldn’t even put away the Baltimore Ravens last weekend?

Cincinnati, who’s been a one-and-done in the playoffs five of the past six years and hasn’t won in the playoffs since the Houston Oilers game in 1991? Denver, where Peyton Manning re-enters the game to earth-shaking cheers and promptly goes 5 for 9 for 69 yards?

I mean, it’s not like the Patriots are going to fall off a cliff like Aaron Rodgers and the Packers did.

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Yo, New England Patriots Fans: R-E-L-A-X

By Matthew Rewinski | Jan 5, 2016

The New England Patriots are 2-4 in their last six games, but we all need to step back and relax.

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